This was my story too and I love the #fedisbest line!! It just added so much stress and the continued thought of whats wrong with me? as I left the hospital with my newborn. Thank you for sharing. Breastfeeding just wasnt in the books for me. My supply was so low by that point and I was still recovering which made it seem so daunting to get my supply back up especially when my sweet girl would scream after 5 minutes of breast feeding and obviously wasnt satiated. Sometimes the body just doesnt produce milk or enough milk. The love is most important part and thats what you need to do. Again it was the permission I needed. We have almost the exact same story! I cried when I realised my starving, crying baby had to have some formula. My supply never went down. The guilt I still feel for having starved my baby his first month. I will be forever grateful for finding the Fed Is Best Foundation, and I am now committed to working with their advocacy team to promote #SafeBreastfeeding. I did continue breast milk until 6 months, the constant pumping at that point was enough for me. Way to go mommas!! The nurses response was, Wow! With a sneer he told me I was starving my daughter and when I broke down in sobbing tears he simply told me to get formula and stop breastfeeding and walked out to tend to his other patients. I saw a comment someone made recently that formula fed babies will eventually be a burden on society with all their health issues. Now almost due wth my second babe I am so excited to try breastfeeding again with all the stuff I have learned and gone through. If you pump, youre essentially telling your body to make more milk, and its most likely that your baby will want a lot to eat after a long night of sleep. I could only produce enough to breast fed him every 12 hours. Moms need to know this very real struggle for some of us. My mom called me one day, andI was on the verge of a mental breakdown when she said, he needs you to be healthy and sane far more than he needs breast milk. It was in that moment that I felt a little bit of weight lift off my shoulders. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. She was right it was a dual feeding system. Thank you for writing this. My Mom told me the same thing. As an RN and a mother I wholeheartedly embrace this philosophy of making sure your child is well fed, no matter how. I am in tears. Our pediatrician said it usually happens to the happy ones because they dont complain much. I also started taking fenugreek about 5 days pp. I have since had a second baby, whom I attempted to breastfeed, but very quickly stopped trying and switched right to a bottle!! My pediatrician supported me and I was so proud that I accomplished that, but looking back its sad. I even had to sign a waiver saying that the hospital was not responsible! Could latch immediately. But its was more important for both of to be healthy. Discovered lip and tongue ties at 4months..had them lasered. Its a hard choice to make but my babies and myself were a lot more settled and happier with formula feeding. This could potentially lead to an oversupply. After I had my first set of twins 10 weeks early, nursing was difficult due to their prematurity. Once we started formula she was so happy and content. Thank you to all the moms that are finally coming forward with their breastfeeding (and all motherly) woes. Im fighting back tears, because I struggled so much an ended up exclusively ff and the guilt is real. They are both happy, healthy, strong 8 and 11 year old girls. I made it to 3 months and was so embarrassed that I couldnt continue. If you need support, we have a private support group. On the other hand it was like a weight was lifted. With my first baby and as a first time mom, I had nurses telling me that I need to feed her and keep trying. She asked me the question again. I use to go 6 hours sometimes but always added a extra pump or power pump to make up for it. We had a very similar experience with our oldest son, not latching, using a shield, nursing so long he would fall asleep but never getting full, my milk never coming fully in even though I was taking supplements to increase it. My baby was a preemie and struggled to latch (and still does) and was very slow to gain weight, struggled with low blood sugar and jaundice and would not nurse so I had to pump for her. I tried. He passed away after he had his second heart surgery at 4.5mths. No. So I alternated with formula and breastfeeding and my milk dried up. It took 10 days for my milk to come in and was on the highest dose of meds the doctor could prescribe but it felt like all I was doing was feeding our son. I stopped breast feeding when my daughter was about a week old. My story is almost exactly the same! Well or not a lot. My problem was that I wasnt producing enough for my 10 lbs. It is meant to inform parents of the most recent data regarding infant feeding and to increase their knowledge on how to protect their newborns and infants from hyperbilirubinemia, dehydration, hypernatremia, hypoglycemia and extended or repeat hospitalizations due to complications from underfeeding. By 2-3 weeks my babies were sleeping 5-6 hours so I regularly went that long. He lost more than 10% of his weight at his 3 day follow up. It is recommended that a parent seeks evaluation by a physician trained in newborn and infant care for any concerns regarding the health and safety of her baby if they arise. I cant wait to read the tips for how to avoid this so I dont have to go through that hell with my next baby. Those are just a few of the things that have been missing in a lot of parenting. Some struggled with breast feeding and it took a doctor telling them that all that mattered was that the baby was healthy and happy, as was mom, it didnt matter what the baby ate (breast milk or formula). I had the same thing, almost exactly, happen with all 3 of my kids. Sounds so very similar to our situation. Are you sure you want to delete your comment? so overall still getting more sleep but keeping up supply. And not realising he needed more than that, and that his cries were hunger not reflux like I had thought. He would feed for a very long time and start to whimper as soon as I removed him from my breast. I am so happy that I have been able to supplement and keep going now almost 4 months with some breast and some formula. I went through something very similar. My mom had to too. I was more successful with my second and went until 6 months. I never realized until after how close I was to loosing my baby. All I could tell her was that I didnt know and how sorry I was that I failed her. Definitely, definitely #fedisbest. Thank you for sharing your story!!! You are always enough! However during this time I was feeding a bottle every 3 hrs. We are so bombarded with messages of breastfeeding the it make us feel inadequate mums if we dont breastfeed which is so wrong. My son is 4 weeks today and eats 4oz every 4 hours or so. I tried and I cried the first time we gave her the bottle..she cried and cried for the first 2 weeks of life no matter how much I would feed her. To complicate matters, I became pregnant with baby #2, four months postpartum. From the bottomed of my heart Thank You for writing this. Anyone pushing their ideas on any new mom is a bad thing. Thank you again for telling your story! I went through a similar experience. Everybody made it look so easy and I was so determined, yet got so discouraged. I suffered from mastitis and he was always hungry; crying and losing weight. If you are exclusively pumping and bottle feeding your baby, mimic what a breastfeeding baby would be doing. But I feel joy and relief when I hear stories of other mother mums who also switch to formula, not because I think its better than breastfeeding but because I dont feel as pressured. Its a shame you felt you had to breastfeed for so long, whats right for one person doesnt suit all. EVERYTHING was exactly meto the Zantac even. LO is 4 months now. You are doing an amazing job. Im so happy to see your choice has allowed your LO to thrive and taken that stress off your shoulders! He would give them bottles when I just couldnt nurse anymore. Also just mine pretty much nursed the first 4 months of her life or shed just scream. My GP callled in (they did in those days). My son turned 6 months 1-2-17 and he is a healthy happy 19.6lb chunk. There is also no need to pump as breastfeeding is a supply and demand function. I have felt so guilty, and it took a tremendous amount of courage for me to write my story. I Breast fed my first for 4 weeks before I had surgery it was a fight from day one and I felt stupid and drained and incompetent. Well done mom!! So, does this mean you need to pump at night? the stuff works great! When I pumped I did get 10oz but I am concerned about future pump sessions. When he was a month old, I spent 4 days in the hospital for an unrelated issue and tried pumping while in the hospital but ended up supplementing with formula. At first, I felt so guilty I would hide away with him to give him his formula. My baby is now 10 months oldand the problem is not solved completely. I was also, sleep deprived, anxious, and emotionally exhausted. I too felt the shame of not being able to breast feed my first son properly. Guess what? Wow! brain damage). In most cases breast is best, but in ALL cases #fedisbest. After revisions, chiropractor and CST he finally learned to latch and his weight took off! I felt completely alone and like a failure, the worst start to motherhood I could ever have imagined. Hopefully this time I will be kinder to myself. She had a great latch and her little jaws moved up and down vigorously 24 hours a day from 10min after she was born. A doctor told me I was a hysterical mom. I am 5 months EBF with my third child, the furthest Ive ever made it, but it means I am off some medications I feel like I am starting to need again. I didnt share photos of him, we ever went out, I too was an emotional mess. That validation from your mother and doctor so important cause you feel so guilty. Glad to see your little guy is happy and healthy! I refuse to starve my baby because someone else says breast is best! Information presented on this website does not replace in-person physician evaluation and treatment. My baby was born 6 weeks early-he had a hard time latching on and they couldnt find a shield small enough for him to use. You would need to pump right around the same time LO gets a bottle and that defeats the purpose of giving a bottle to get sleep. If double pumping is difficult to coordinate in the beginning, then single pump, alternating sides. I feel like I read my own story with the experience I had with my son. You are doing a GREAT JOB. Thank you for writing this. This is my story almost exactly. Definitely a love hate relationship with formula. I was worried she wouldnt do well at school if I didnt breastfeed for goodness sake! Mine was very similar and I, too, was an emotional mess. my baby is a month old now and I pump maybe 1.5 - 2 ounces each side. I also noticed that he wanted to eat for very long periods of time and didnt seem to ever be settled during or after feeds. I found out much later that after the birth during my ongoing operation the midwife was feeding my child with formula so my child was so desperate for a proper food but my milk did not properly come yet. Out of curiosity did your LC look for ties? We had latch problems too, for the same reason, and every feeding turned into a scream out me too! I was simply too distraught and tired when attempting breastfeeding. Even if at the time, I didnt believe her at all. My daughter had a weak latch and I have the same nipple issue. My baby got so skinny and cold and gray colored. I have 3 beautiful children I tried breast feeding with all of them but it didnt work for me I still feel like my body let me down, my son got 6-8 weeks, my eldest daughter got 4 weeks and my youngest got about 3 weeks. This story brought me back to where I was last year, when I struggled with the very same issue. Are you exclusively pumping? That was hard and my milk supply is still minimal, but my baby is eating and gaining weight. Maybe if we all told our story, the Mums that needed or wanted to do this would feel better about it. When I answered that I was formula fed, she said, are you okay? I asked her what did she mean. I too struggled with nursing. She wasnt even that fussy or showed any significant signs of not getting enough, dirty diapers were normal to everything Id been told/learned and she even latched from day 1. I switched to exclusively feed formula at 4 months and it took me til 6 months to accept my decision. Fortunately for me my pediatrician was very supportive. When my second daughter was born naturally she took to breastfeeding straight away. My now 22-year-old had the same issues. I really believed that I could exclusively breastfeed and it was a tough reality check. Built my supply to 50% of what my bub was feeding and the other 50% formula. I had to pump then dump the first little bit because I would bleed into the milk and I didnt think that would be healthy for him. Nothing can compare to being sneered at as a first time mother by the very dr that told me everything was fine. My pediatrician too treated me w the same sensitivity and kindness and I felt like he let me off the hook I had myself on I cried and I love him for it. My little brother passed away 3 days after returning home. More women need to hear this!! However, you know that pumping can be essential for maintaining supply and avoiding issues like clogged ducts and mastitis. She would latch and feed for anywhere from 40 mins- 1.5 hours, and then fall asleep and wake up soon after and we would repeat the pattern. My boy was born weighing 2575g. I have been doing great between breastfeeding and pumping. I had a nurse at my doctors office for my follow up, who asked me, oh, bottle? This is literally my story! After a month I realized our family was drowning and I made the hard decision to quit. So so much for sharing. I can relate with this sooo much! Honestly, if we have a third I may not nurse at all. I went through pretty close to the exact same experience. This is exactly what I went through with my own son- its heartbreaking and could have been much worse.. thanks for sharing! More women, men, friends, professionals, ect need to know when to support a mom instead of increasing her guilt because they know whats right. We continued the routine and he continued to grow and thrive, but my supply didnt seem to be increasing, and he still seemed so restless while nursing. Has that ever happened to you? I wouldnt wish those feelings on another mother ever! Not every mother is gonna get their milk in so dont destress. I nursed and pumped and finally had to give her formula to supplement my breast feeding. You might already be doing this Naomi but I figure Ill put it out there anyway on the spitting up issue, when mixing the formula, I have found that using good bottled water and/or filtering our tap water, to get rid of the Chlorine, water softeners and other gunk in the our drinking water, pretty much stopped the spitting up altogether. I tried lactation consultants and worked at it, but even after 6 weeks of doing everything they recommended, I was getting about an ounce for every hour of pumping and opted to stop and just continue with formula. I really appreciate your suggestions and understanding. More moms need to know! You are inundated with breast is best, it makes them healthier, smarter, happier; it bonds you, its easier and more cost effective. I was up all night pumping every 2 hours, taking pills, drinking teas- she still lost weight. I am so glad you all made it through that difficult time. I continued with blistered nipples, feeding so often for so long that I generally only had half an hour to an hour breaks some days and in the end I was trying to pump in the middle of the night to increase my supply and I bled into the pump. I think this exacerbated my PPD. Aim for pumping 750-800 mL (25-27 oz) per day by 7-10 days postpartum. Over 30 years ago, I was in a very similar situation and made the decision to feed my first child formula (a big no no here at the time). thank you for writing this. This story really hit home for mewith my oldest I learned just days after she was born that she was not getting enough milk from me. I can hardly look at some of his pictures from the pre-formula times, he looks so thin I feel bad, I was trying so hard I was going to midwife and breastfeeding consultant 4 times a week in total, I medicated myself with domperidone, I was pumping regularly every 3 hours.. and the story could go on and onso glad we introduced formula and continued mixed feeding until 5 months, he is now a happy and healthy baby and quite chubby I must say. But me and my husband were amused by them. Also for exclusive pumpers, how much is baby eating? Thats really what is important in the end, that you do what is best and make sure he gets what he needs. We then went back 3 more times for wt checks. Both my babies were formula fed. Thank you for sharing, I hope it gets other mommas out of their shell and know their not alone! Wow. A few yrs later I had my 5th child, another son, also with a heart condition but only mild. What a beautiful article. For mothers with access to formula and clean water, formula supplementation is much safer than untested, casual milk donations. All that would take me 1 1/2 hrs. Mind you back then it was too expensive to get an electric one so we had a manual hand pump and proceeded to pump milk and bottle feed her. My milk never really came in, but the pressure to breastfeed was so strong that my son ended up being hospitalized for malnutrition, he was jaundice and STARVING!!!! Now 2 years and a beautiful bright, smart, happy and healthy daughter later, I still look back on this time and my first thought is, how could I have failed her so badly? Ironically, the way I feed my baby makes me a horrible mom in the eyes of many. And I was to be doing this every 2 hours?? Can you tell us your story again? However, I kept her attached to me probably 20 out of 24 hours. I have a now 5 yr old thriving boy. This is something that was never mentioned to me in the warm, cosy prenatal sessions including the one about breast feeding. We continued to use the shield because he really struggled to latch without it and were told to put it back on if he got really frustrated trying to latch. Thank you for your story. I experienced the exact same thing.